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The Valkorsian Scriptures: Fable of the Sabre
The sun was setting in the fields of the savage Ling Ling empire. The Spartans, the first true disciples of our lord Valkorsia - the most venerable savior - were hurrying through the dark, cavernous depths of Detorid. Our pack had gone from wolves to dogs after a success against the bot menace. An avalanche of rage nipped at our heels; bringing forth the warp tunnels of traffic control. We dare not look back too soon, for fear of losing a single splinter of time to mere curiosity. Roaring through the pipe, gate-to-gate, clutching our loot and praying that the righteousness of our Lord, Valkorsia - may he live forever - would spare us from the burning rage of 100,000 local-sperging Fraternity nerds.
Hope was all but gone, if it were not for the grace given to our warp acceleration percentages by the Spirit of Valkorsia, many lives would be lost to the cretinous hunger for retribution that cascaded behind us. Every system their battle chants gained more expletives as they gave chase. Out of options, prayers resounded throughout comms; hymns for defensive bubbles and psalms of overheated warp-speeds.
Ahura the Esteemed did call out:
“O’ Great Lord Valkorsia, most dignified, acclaimed, Father of Sparta and New Eden beneath it, What of you!? Are you with your spear or on it?”
Transcript: “Where the hell are you, warp to our out-gate and put a stop bubble to slow them”
On the crest of his echo, a silent but terrible tremble in the group was felt. We paused. Space fell calm and the winds of our impending death had settled, as though extinguished by the trail of our warp. We had made it, alas, the regional gate. The physical vessel of the omnipresent Valkorsia - the God-King - was nowhere to be seen.
T’was then when the Godly voice of Valkorsia spoke to us from the far reaches of space:
“Go now O' disciples, I have held back Doom from you all, the sages have spoken from Elysium, and I must reward your faith and save my kin”
Transcript: “Go, go, I have them bubbled on my gate I'll be fine”
Such events are simply inarticulable, we begged for our Lord Valkorsia - most revered - to return with us, prepared to risk all our deaths to save the only one that mattered. We waited for what seemed to be an eternity, our lives held in the stasis of our master's fate. Yet, our Supreme Leader ordered us to leave without him, and we apostles saw local as the angry keyboard-warrior foes amassed. The Light of Our Great Lord, normally seen as far as Tenal, was blotted to a glimmering torchlight in a swarm of evil. But nary a man exists who can dwarf the Shepard of Sparta, and the omnipresent Valkorsia simply sprang to life elsewhere, absolutely righteous in his reincarnation. The savages had failed to best him - thus through tears we left system alive, hearts lifted by the benevolence of the God-King Valkorsia.
Mellisa the Hunter then did exclaim to the group:
“Brothers, I have witnessed a great miracle here today! The Great One embraced the swarm to save us! Our prayers were answered and once again the power of our great leader Valkorsia has been demonstrated!”
Transcript: “Valk we meant the out-gate not the in-gate!”
Fast did we Spartans return Home to lick our wounds and spread the word of the miracle we witnessed. Any lack of reverence and fear for the infallible Valkorsia - King of Kings of New Eden, Keeper of the Highest Standard of Lady Pictures and Stripper Videos - once again lead our enemies to utter failure. The Spartans were enriched; as the Fable of the Sabre teaches that the valour and resolve of our great leader can not be killed, only strengthened.
As accounted by
Apostle Zanksun
Patron de Interdictum
Member of the Order of the Turtle
Disciple of His Lordship, Valkorsia